FIrst Fathers Day, tough post :/

Well today is a little tough…Maddox is 3 months old today, and it's fathers day. My heart breaks when I think about Maddox not being able to meet her dad. It really is the only thing that will make me cry every time I think about it. I will do my best to make sure she knows everything about him through pictures, stories and videos of her amazing dad. The hardest part of this was not knowing what was going to happen. Through out the whole journey Jon fought his hardest, not for himself but for Maddox and I. We found out his cancer was back the same week we found out we were pregnant. After we hugged, kissed, cried (tears of joy) Jon picked up his computer and began looking into different cancer websites trying to get information on how to get better. He became determined! When it came to the end and we got the awful news that he didn't have much time we didn't want to know how long, we just asked, will he get to meet our daughter? Unfortunately, the answer was no, a few minutes later Jon and I took some time with each other and he looked at me and said "I am going to fight like hell till March!" His determination and the love that he already had for Maddox was amazing. Hearing him say her name and smiling is one of the best memories I have. I am the only person who has heard him say Maddox Faith Bruce and that is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

As I sit here and type this I am in tears, but I am okay, sometimes it really feels good to talk about the hard stuff and remember just how amazing of a person Jon was. He would have been the most amazing  dad. I am going to do my best to raise Maddox in a way that he would be proud.

Sorry for probably making everyone cry :(

Happy Father's day to all the dads :)