Well today is a little tough…Maddox is 3 months old today, and it's fathers day. My heart breaks when I think about Maddox not being able to meet her dad. It really is the only thing that will make me cry every time I think about it. I will do my best to make sure she knows everything about him through pictures, stories and videos of her amazing dad. The hardest part of this was not knowing what was going to happen. Through out the whole journey Jon fought his hardest, not for himself but for Maddox and I. We found out his cancer was back the same week we found out we were pregnant. After we hugged, kissed, cried (tears of joy) Jon picked up his computer and began looking into different cancer websites trying to get information on how to get better. He became determined! When it came to the end and we got the awful news that he didn't have much time we didn't want to know how long, we just asked, will he get to meet our daughter? Unfortunately, the answer was no, a few minutes later Jon and I took some time with each other and he looked at me and said "I am going to fight like hell till March!" His determination and the love that he already had for Maddox was amazing. Hearing him say her name and smiling is one of the best memories I have. I am the only person who has heard him say Maddox Faith Bruce and that is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
As I sit here and type this I am in tears, but I am okay, sometimes it really feels good to talk about the hard stuff and remember just how amazing of a person Jon was. He would have been the most amazing dad. I am going to do my best to raise Maddox in a way that he would be proud.
Sorry for probably making everyone cry :(
Happy Father's day to all the dads :)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Softball tournament for Jon's Birthday :)
SO!! We are a WEEK away and everything is set and ready to go! Ben and I have scoped the field out and we couldn't have gotten a better venue. The park has a HUGE playground set for the kids and lots of picnic tables to enjoy some delicious Salarnos food or Rita's Italian ice during games! We have 14 registered teams signed up and will have 4 fields going at a time if needed. We will be selling extra Tournament T-Shirts for those who want the Black & Orange colors or who aren't participating and would just like to have a sovenier! Again, Salernos will be selling burger's, hot dog's, French fries, and soda while Rita's is selling ice to cool off. PLEASE BRING CASH. We will be accepting credit cards for shirts and extra wrist bands but, vendors will probably prefer cash.... Also, we will be bringing some cornhole boxes and ladder golf for participants and spectators who would like to play some other games during some down time. YOU WILL NEED TO BRING YOUR OWN GLOVE AND TEAM BAT!! We have some extras but, please don't rely on others for your team. We have 8 new game balls and bases are being provided by the park. Lastly, get ready for the 50/50 Raffle aaaannnnd......wait for it....THE HOME RUN DERBY!!! The fields don't have fences but, Home Depot has donated some orange mesh fencing we will be staking up on the center field just for the DERBY! So bring your "A" game!
For those who don't know already, this Jon's Birthday weekend too! So, we will be ending the day with some birthday cake donated from Jon, Ben, and I's old employer from highschool Martin's! A big thanks to our old boss Gary! We would also like to give another big thanks to SERRA BROTHER'S, MOONLIGHT AUTOMOTIVE, SALERNO'S, AND RITA'S for making all of this possible!!!
Thank you to everyone who has supported us and who has been so generous thus far! See everyone out there!!!
For those who don't know already, this Jon's Birthday weekend too! So, we will be ending the day with some birthday cake donated from Jon, Ben, and I's old employer from highschool Martin's! A big thanks to our old boss Gary! We would also like to give another big thanks to SERRA BROTHER'S, MOONLIGHT AUTOMOTIVE, SALERNO'S, AND RITA'S for making all of this possible!!!
Thank you to everyone who has supported us and who has been so generous thus far! See everyone out there!!!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Posting more regular
It has been a while since my last post, Maddox is now 11 weeks old, 12 weeks on Saturday! Time has been flying by but I have been enjoying every moment. Everyone asks my family and friends, how I am doing? I doing okay, I still take each day as it comes and i don't think that will ever change. I am enjoying being a mom to a wonderful little girl that brings joy into my life everyday! Of course I miss Jon and wish that he could be here but I know he is watching and in a wonderful place. I focus on the things that bring happiness each day. I recently got a tattoo my first one, on my wrist for Jon. The whole time he was sick we talked about tattoos. I told him I wanted one to remember this battle. In my mind I knew what I wanted if the worst happened. The day the doctors told us that Jon wasn't going to make it I looked at Jon and told him what my tattoo was going to be "I love you" in his handwriting, Jon laughed and said "why would you want that?! my handwriting is terrible!" Now everyday I look at my wrist and its like him letting me know he loves me which brings a smile to my face :)
Now back to Maddox, everyone also asks who she looks like…she is a great mix of Jon and I. The top half of her face, eyebrows and eyes seem to be me, her nose I think is more me, Jon's was bit wider. The mouth is ALL Jon, she has the shape and fullness of his lips.The shape of her chin also seems to be Jon. It is so cool to look at her and feel like I am looking at a baby picture of myself and then get a Jon expression. Here are pictures of Jon and myself as babies.
We have been keeping busy. For the Memorial day weekend Maddox and I went with my sister Erika, my mom Patsy, Tyler's sister Claudia, and his brother Kyle to Jacksonville Florida to welcome Tyler (my sister's fiancé) home from Japan. It was nice to get away for a few days. We left Thursday at 4:00am and came back late Monday night. Maddox did wonderful in the car, it took us 14 hours to get there, and little longer to come back because of traffic but she was a trooper! While we were there Maddox went in the pool for the first time as well as put her feet in the ocean at St. Augustine! She didn't like the pool too much, but when her feet were in the ocean she was all smiles. It is so exciting to try all these new things with her to see how she will respond to them. I hope she gets used to the pool so we can swim all summer.
Over all we are doing very well, we are both healthy. I am feeling good getting back to normal and trying to get the baby weight off. Maddox has had 3 check ups and is doing amazing, she had 2 shots and did very well with those. She is up to 10 lbs. and is ahead of the game with everything. She has been lifting her head A LOT, she doesn't like to lay down she prefers to sit up. She is still a little wobbly at times but for the most part can hold her head up on her own. She has started to sit in her Bumbo seat and look arond. Everyday is something new…
I will do my best to try and post each week even if it is a short post. :)
A few of my favorite pictures…
Now back to Maddox, everyone also asks who she looks like…she is a great mix of Jon and I. The top half of her face, eyebrows and eyes seem to be me, her nose I think is more me, Jon's was bit wider. The mouth is ALL Jon, she has the shape and fullness of his lips.The shape of her chin also seems to be Jon. It is so cool to look at her and feel like I am looking at a baby picture of myself and then get a Jon expression. Here are pictures of Jon and myself as babies.
We have been keeping busy. For the Memorial day weekend Maddox and I went with my sister Erika, my mom Patsy, Tyler's sister Claudia, and his brother Kyle to Jacksonville Florida to welcome Tyler (my sister's fiancé) home from Japan. It was nice to get away for a few days. We left Thursday at 4:00am and came back late Monday night. Maddox did wonderful in the car, it took us 14 hours to get there, and little longer to come back because of traffic but she was a trooper! While we were there Maddox went in the pool for the first time as well as put her feet in the ocean at St. Augustine! She didn't like the pool too much, but when her feet were in the ocean she was all smiles. It is so exciting to try all these new things with her to see how she will respond to them. I hope she gets used to the pool so we can swim all summer.
Over all we are doing very well, we are both healthy. I am feeling good getting back to normal and trying to get the baby weight off. Maddox has had 3 check ups and is doing amazing, she had 2 shots and did very well with those. She is up to 10 lbs. and is ahead of the game with everything. She has been lifting her head A LOT, she doesn't like to lay down she prefers to sit up. She is still a little wobbly at times but for the most part can hold her head up on her own. She has started to sit in her Bumbo seat and look arond. Everyday is something new…
I will do my best to try and post each week even if it is a short post. :)
A few of my favorite pictures…
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